69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
