I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
