well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
