Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
