How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
me + whiskey = a bad person
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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