I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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