maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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