the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
