did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
