my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
do herpes really smell.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
