wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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