i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
