dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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