Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
be right there i have to get my cape
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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