I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
