pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
