Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
