6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
