Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
