My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The air was thick with penises
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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