I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
