He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
