Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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