fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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