So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
