dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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