At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
