we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
