I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
