i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
