Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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