were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
