Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
