Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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