There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
