hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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