Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
