No, you can still breathe under the balls.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
