So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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