Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
