I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
