just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
