Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
