At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
