Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
