just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
