no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
