it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you traded sex for a burrito?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
