one two three fourrrrnication!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
