you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
