gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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