He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
